Reading Diary
I’ve had a deep love of reading for as long as I can remember. It has always felt effortless to me: picking up a book, finding a cosy spot and reading it whenever I had a second of free time. It used to be my all-time favourite thing to do. So, reading was always just there and I’ve never really questioned why I read; but my relationship with reading has definitely changed over the years. Like with everything, I find myself sometimes stressed out about my reading because I don’t know what I will read next, or because I can’t exactly remember the book I recently read — at least not well enough to talk about it or write a review. But here’s the truth: I don’t think reading should necessarily be about retaining information. I think people who spend most of their lives trying to “hack” their reading are doing it wrong; it’s ok to just enjoy the ride and read because you want to read, and not because you want to reach that goal of reading 52 books this year.
There is a famous quote by Maya Angelou: “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Was this secretly about books? It’s likely I will forget a book’s correct plot, the character names or the first or last sentence; but I’m less likely to forget how a book made me feel. So, this is an attempt to capture my moments of reading throughout the year. From January until December, I’ll update the list with what I’ve read, and all the associated stray thoughts and feelings.
Note: credit for this idea of the reading diary goes to Tamara Atanasoska, who inspired me to try this.
Two Stories
Sally Rooney
I'm glad I listened to this on audiobook, it gave me the chance to really pay attention to the subtlety of the character interactions.
Dinner for Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show
Bethany Joy Lenz
How did I not know she was in a cult and also why do I want to rewatch all 9 seasons of “One Tree Hill”?
Dog Park
Sofi Oksanen
I have so many thoughts and feelings twirling in my head, and I kinda want to re-read this or at least, put the puzzle pieces back to where they belong chronologically? Also, I was not satisfied with the open ending. Nope nope nope.
The Vegetarian
Han Kang
This was strange and sexy and reminded me of Banana Yoshimoto. It grew on me the way a book hasn't grown on me while reading in a while.
You like it darker
Stephen King
I keep forgetting that Stephen King is an actually good writer. Like, wow.
Greta and Valdin
Rebecca K Reilly
I don't usually like funny books (yep, this is what I would say about Catherine Newman books, too) but somehow “Greta and Valdin” is both funny and also on point, and perfect at encapsulating my generation, the weird social anxiety coupled with all the thoughts about gender and colonialism and how to be a better person. Everyone should read this.
Somebody's daughter
Ashley C. Ford
I'm not sure why I didn't like it, but I'm truly glad it's over.
Sandwich
Catherine Newman
Whyyyyyyy is she so good at making me laugh and making me cry???
Hello Beautiful
Ann Neapolitano
I want to re-read “Little Women”. And “The World According to Garp”. And “Rabbit, Run”. Why didn’t I feel anything for these characters? Why do I feel duped and like I was supposed to get loveable characters but got, instead, what felt like cardboard characters? I’m so, so disappointed by this novel, and I’m sad I didn’t enjoy it as much as I hoped to.
How to love your daughter
Hila Blum
I’m so fucking sad. I can relate to Yoella so much, the pain of wanting the best for your child so much that you end up hurting them.
Steal like an artist
Austin Kleon
I feel inspired to start making something now. When did I stop making? Also: Would benefit from having a physical copy of this to go through occasionally, when I’m in a creative slump.
Digital Minimalism
Cal Newport
I enjoyed most of it, I enjoyed most of the pragmatic advice, but as someone who has friendships that were built irl through living in different places, I felt shamed about my wanting to keep in touch with my friends over text messages and group chats — like that’s a lesser way of communicating. This felt like an opinion filled with privilege.
Regardless, I’ve been thinking about how to reduce my screen time and I think some of the advice in this book is a good first step.
Nightbitch
Rachel Yoder
What the fuck.
I felt so much for Rachel Yoder’s main character in Nightbitch. And I felt angry for her.
Parable of the Sower
Octavia Butler
Holy shit, I want more of this. Why did it take me 30+ years to start reading Octavia Butler? Now I get what the hype is about.
The Impossible Resurrection of Grief
Octavia Cade
I’m so confused. Was this writer on drugs while writing? Is this novella genius? I honestly have no idea.
Maame
Jessica George
I had highs and lows while reading this one; it started off weakly for me, the writing feeling a bit like a Gen Z Black Bridget Jones but then I realised it's not and found myself being completely engrossed by this book. It's probably the character I've empathised with most over the course of the last few weeks/books. Part of the plot fell a bit flat for me, but I enjoyed the character development a lot.
Der Trafikant
Robert Seethaler
What. the. fuck.
My coworker lent me this, and afterwards when I returned it to him he said, this book is “like taking a nice walk and then being punched in the face” and I mean, he’s not wrong.
I am so heartbroken for the main character, so heartbroken for Freud too, even though I never really liked the guy; this said, I loved the lightness of the writing and recognising the names of all the Viennese streets.
Walk the vanished Earth
Erin Swan
There is something special about this book, which is that on a Saturday or Sunday morning, my daughter asked me to read it out loud after coming into our bedroom, and I did, and somehow by chance it was one of the more beautiful passages, the glittering exchange between two people who never would meet each other and the moment where I understood why this book is getting compared to Emily St. John Mandel’s so much.
I love generational sagas.
Bunny
Mona Awad
I feel annoyed at myself for figuring it out before the end. The writing has gotten better as the book progressed, almost as if the writer writing the book was the actual writer inside the book. It made me sad for myself, the memory of art school, both feeling so lonely there but also wanting to be left alone and not wanting to socialise. This book honestly triggered so many more negative feelings than I expected it to.
Remarkably Bright Creatures
Shelby Van Pelt
I feel like this was supposed to be sadder than it ended up being. There was a surprising lightness in the writing, something almost YA about it, with a nicely tied bow at the end, somehow. I liked the octopus a lot.
Nel mare ci sono i coccodrilli
Fabio Geda
As I read, I kept forgetting that this was in fact based on a real story, that this is an embellished account by a journalist. I felt bad for not liking the book more, and I felt bad for being a white woman who never had to go through the kind of hardship that Enaiatollah had to go through.
Die Wut, die bleibt
Mareike Fallwickl
The words of this whole novel are weighing down my heart. There have been moments in the last couple of weeks where I felt my jaw clenching, remembering the helplessness of being a mother and a woman, of just existing in the world. I get a feeling that probably every cisgender man should drop whatever the fuck he’s doing, and read this.